Tag Archives: UWO

Apathy, Animosity and an Apology

What can I say?  I dig alliteration.

It’s January 2012.  Can you freaking believe it?  Jaysus, the time has flown.  Wish I could tell y’all it’s because of all the fun I’ve been having, but that would be a fib.  Best part of Christmas was finding that extra bottle of red in the cupboard on Boxing Day, no word of a lie.

You see, I threw my back out about eight weeks ago; likely an old sports injury.  (I love saying that, ‘old sports injury.’  It’s like I can claim athlete status, even though I’m a post-Yule blob of lard at present…but obviously I wasn’t, always!)

Back in my university days (UWO King’s College, Class of ’03), I played squash.  I played A LOT of squash.  I was constantly calling my much-younger friends and asking nagging at them to meet me at the court.  It was my heroin, for a while.  That should have been a sign that something had to give.  I’m not Hayley fucking Wickenheiser.

One day, without warning, I jumped up out of bed (not surprising) and promptly fell down (surprising), writhing in pain (surprising and decidedly unpleasant).  As soon as I was remotely mobile, I went to the Fowler Kennedy Sport Medicine Clinic on UWO’s main campus, was told I overdid it and that I had to stop playing squash so much and to cut out wearing my backpack on only one shoulder (no matter how cool and artfully indifferent it made me look), and have a round of physiotherapy.

So.  No problem.  Did as they instructed, breezed through the physio, and the back healed up.

Wait for it…

Cut to 2006 or thereabouts.  By this time I had little kids at home, and though I’d endured two C-sections, was feeling pretty good, physically.  One fateful day, I happened to notice a dessicated corn flake on the floor, and casually and nonchalantly bent to pick it up, which is when my back screamed an audible Fuck You!  I was out of commission for a couple of weeks, walking stooped over and all.  That’ll teach me to do housework, thought I.  Don’t need any more convincing than that!  It’s dangerous, and to be avoided at all costs.

Throughout the years since, I’ve had various flareups, usually not lasting longer than a week.  However sometime around November, I started getting ‘twinges,’ nothing to be alarmed about, I thought, until gradually, over the following weeks I became so hunched over that I could have posed with Esmeralda and no one would have blinked.

Whee!  I’m swinging on a big bell!

Now I’m in physio again.  The therapist is not only young enough that I could have babysat her; I’m pretty sure I’m old enough to be her mother, had my youth been just a soupçon more misspent.  I’ve got a massage booked for tomorrow morning and a set of exercises I’ll be doing daily.

But that’s not what I came here to talk about.

Between the back thing putting me not only off my feet but also off my 7-day a week workout schedule, and my annual dose of S.A.D. kicking in bigtime, I fell (see: allowed myself to fall) into a bit of a funk.  As mentioned, Christmas held very little excitement for me, and the prospect of 2012 starting with such a pathetic whimper was depressing as all hell.  I stopped writing, I stopped eating well.  I had no drive, no capacity for caring a whit. I started to hibernate, isolating myself like an injured animal, snarling at anyone who ventured too close to my cave.

Rikki-Tikki-Tavi had nothing on me.  NOTHING.

Well.  I don’t know which of the Powers That Be decided to kicked me in my astral ass, but I’m grateful to them.  Just blinked one day, and things just seemed…different.  Less dull.  A little more shiny.  Better.

So I’m opting for a Re-Do. I apologize for not being here for you.  I resolve to be present.  I resolve to growl less.  I resolve that in the days and weeks to come, I’m gonna be inundating you with stream-of-consciousness ramblings, biased and ill-informed opinions, nostalgic wanderings, music/film/art reviews and other really cool stuff, you just wait and see.

I’ve missed y’all so much.  Happy New Year, everyone.

Erin

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Filed under Health and Wellness, Rants

Old Dogs/New Tricks: an idea

Sissyzen Kane

I’ve had this entrepreneurial concept knocking around my noggin for years now, and I think, finally, that this is the ideal time to put it out there, invite feedback and see what might happen.  Who knows?  I mean, I’m here, aren’t I, after years of just thinking about writing…so perhaps I’ll don my Wonder Woman t-shirt one more time and venture beyond Themyscira.

I’m not skilled at much of anything, which is to say, there are a lot of talents and abilities out there I don’t possess.  Sure, I can cook a mean pot roast, mix a spiffy gin & tonic, keep the kid craft ideas going for hours, and (grammar notwithstanding), I can spell pretty good.  However there are myriad capabilities that have remained evasive, and I’d actually started to believe that they might just get permanently filed under Things Erin Can’t Do.

For instance:  I’ve always wanted to play basketball.  I mean, the Biebs plays basketball, and I think, if she can do it, so can I!  Thing is, I don’t have any rapper friends to teach me.

I would also like to learn how to sew…like, on a machine.  I own a machine, at least, which is a step in the right direction, and while I managed last years’ Hallowe’en costumes, I shudder to think what would become of a Butterick blouse with me at the helm (hem?)

Then there’s printmaking.  I see all this mass-produced stuff at HomeSense and Winners, and just like anyone who stares at a Pollock painting long enough, I inevitably think to myself, “Hell yes, I could do that!”  But I don’t know how (ah, there’s the rub!)  I could take a course at the local college, yeah, yeah, yeah…but as a 41-year-old woman, do I really want to attend Visual Arts class with 18-year old, über-cool whippersnappers?  Uh, no.  I’d kill some smug, know-it-all little artiste-to-be, I just know it.  How could I know that, you may ask?  I attended UWO (the blonde co-ed capital of Ontario) as a mature student.  If I didn’t have religion, I’d be incarcerated right now. ‘Nuff said.

Next up:  woodworking.  I had a great friend once who could saw, hammer, measure, bevel, level, drill, and lathe, and would have taught me, had I asked.  Only thing was, I was 20-something at the time and didn’t care; it was something I considered best left in the Realm Of The Boys.  Now my friend is frolicking with the angels, and I can’t ask, dangit.  He’s up there with his wings and celestial DeWalt tools, laughing at me (but in a really nice way).  I even did my university work-study in the Visual Arts wood shop, and I’m still terrified of the table saw, because I know that big piece of pine is gonna kickback and kill me.

Last example:  basic car mechanics.  I have this belief – no, more like a yearning hope, that if the lives of my children were at stake, I could adequately change a tire on the minivan.  But I couldn’t guarantee it.  I’d also love to be able to do my own oil changes and general maintenance, and boost the battery without electrocuting myself.  I hate getting grease on my hands and under my nails, but I hate to think of myself as terminally useless with motor vehicles even more.

In any case, you get the picture.  And I started to think that maybe I’m not the only person who would love to learn something with other peeps-of-a-certain-age. So what I’m proposing is:  Old Dogs/New Tricks courses and workshops, so that all those things you coulda-shoulda-woulda learned when you were growing up can be added to your repertoire.

Now taking interviews with potential instructors, facility managers and interested clients!

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